HEY JOHN AND NICK,

I’M JUST UPDATING A FEW THINGS HERE FOR YOU TO HEAR AND SEE. I’LL TALK TO YA SOON WITH SOME MORE DEFINITIVE TIMELINE STUFF.

-P

NOW THAT I’M OLDER [ep]

I’M NOT TOTALLY SURE WHAT THE SEQUENCE OF SONGS SHOULD BE ON THIS EP. SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY INPUT ON THAT, I’D LOVE TO HEAR IT!

THESE ARE FINAL MIXES. I’LL BE GETTING THEM MASTERED IN THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS.

note on video above : I’ll change out titles to say “we are the willows” and I’ll take this video down.

CLARINET - WRITTEN, TRACKED, & PERFORMED BY ADDIE STREI
ALL OTHER INSTRUMENTS BY ME
RECORDED IN MY BASEMENT 2017-2020
MIXED BY ME
MASTERED BY KNOL TATE

DEEP BREATHS [ep]

THESE ARE FINAL MIXES. CURRENTLY BEING MASTERED.

artwork by LANDON SHEELY

CLARINET & FLUTE- WRITTEN, TRACKED & PERFORMED BY ADDIE STREI
ALL OTHER INSTRUMENTS BY ME
RECORDED IN MY BASEMENT BETWEEN 2016 & 2019
MIXED BY MIKE NOYCE
MASTERED BY HUNTLEY MILLER

ABOUT AN UPDATED ONTOLOGY
Over the course of 3 years, I wrote this weird composition. At first, I wanted to write a piece of music that would continue forever. I’d just keep writing and writing and writing and over time it would be like I was collaborating with my past self. I think I still want to do that.

But, at some point, this song became “about” something. It ended up being about god. Or, rather, it became a message from god that i really needed to hear: it became an apology.

I grew up in a pretty religious family. We went to Midwestern non-denomonational (baptist) churches. Relationship with god was a foundational component to spiritual practice. god was a person, in a way. god had feelings and preferences, and you talked to god during the day and god knew and cared about your every thought and decision. it…was a lot.

As I grew into a young adult, this relationship with god became a breeding ground for my depression and anxiety. All of my fears, self doubt, and self hatred came to me in the form of god, compounded by the teachings of my faith, which weren’t too kind to the self either.

Needless to say, it became very unhealthy. I graduated from highschool and went to a small religious college in a suburb of saint paul, MN. I designed to become a youth pastor. Oddly enough, this religious school is where i became an agnostic.

After graduating with a degree in philosophy, I wrote a record about losing my faith and how to find meaning in a world without god. i began teaching pre-school and touring as much as I could. over time, god became a person who hurt me a long time ago and who i don’t keep up with.

as i’ve taken proactive steps to understand and treat my mental health issues, i’ve realized some things. I’ve realized that i what i was taught about who/ what god is, is something that god just isn’t (if god is anything at all). if god exists, i don’t think god is the sort of thing that has feelings, or cares about humanity. and to have emotional needs from an entity like that, is only gonna lead to heartbreak and some extremely whacky ideas.

so, in the end, i wrote what i needed to hear from this version of god i grew up with. this person-thing who always left me hating myself. harm had been done to me and i needed god to make amends. it’s probably really weird, but i think i needed it. i know i did. and it helped me.

INSTRUMENTAL EP (maybe called deep breaths)

CELLO - HILARY JAMES
CLARINET - ADELYN STREI
PIANO - ME
ENGINEERED BY HILARY JAMES AND ME

ABOUT DEEP BREATHS

Deep Breaths is 1 of 3 instrumental compositions on piano and cello that I made with my bandmate, Hilary James. Like lots of folks, the last year was filled with a myriad of challenges. Hilary and I shared some of these challenges. With our city reckoning with the horror of police brutality and its effect on our community, the sudden passing of our friend and bandmate, and the persistent stress of the pandemic, both of us were left speechless.

We weren’t able to collaborate and process in person, so we started sending music files back and forth. These pieces are the product of two close friends searching for meaning in the best way they know how.

SONGS WITH MIKE NOYCE (YET TO BE TITLED)

About these songs:

Ok, so in March of 2021 I went to Milwaukee to record with Mike. I came with 4 songs. The two songs above became something really quickly. The song below (It’s Hard To Have A Satisfied Mind) has taken some time and I’m not sure what to do with it.

It also still needs the most work. But could be completed and released with the songs above.

OR, it could pair well with the song “Then Everything Changed”. This song and “it’s hard to…” are kinda straightforward singer/ songwriter-y which i’m into but also isn’t as exciting.

SO, I still have to figure some stuff out with these songs.

If either of y’all have thoughts on whether or not these 4 songs would pair well together or if they should be separate-two-song-releases, lemme know.